Always On My Mind
by angel of moozik
Summary: A little side piece to my fic Something There, explaining how Seamus and Luna came to be together. You don't have to have read Something There to understand this. Brief explanation inside. Seamus/Luna


**This is something of a peace offering to all the readers of Something There. As you'll know if you follow me on twitter, (and if you don't, you should: ruthydoops) I'm snowed under with revision for my uni exams and I can't cope with writing anything with a proper plot so I probably won't be able to update until June. To stop you all getting annoyed with me, I've written this little story, set before Something There about how Seamus and Luna got together, seeing as it was quite an odd pairing for me to choose.**

**For those of you who haven't read Something There, don't worry, you don't need to! I wouldn't mind if you suddenly felt the urge to do so after reading this though! A few things need explaining though: Something There involves a muggle Hermione (to begin with anyway) so she's not in this, and this means I've been able to mess around with the friendship groups at Hogwarts, as you'll soon see. Hopefully it won't seem_ too _weird!**

**Oh, and when I go on about Luna's 'trainers', I'm British and I mean it as in her 'sneakers.' Hopefully it's not too offputting to all my American readers!  
**

**Please leave me a nice review if you liked it! I'm currently struggling through my British music revision and reviews would make it a bit more bearable!

* * *

**It was the last day of Seamus Finnegan's fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and he was on his way to his favourite part of the last week of term: the end of year feast. He was already running late and hoped he hadn't missed the first course; they always served the nicest leek and potato soup every year. He'd been packing, which conversely, was probably his least favourite part of the last week of term. Every year he'd leave it until the last minute and then nothing would fit in the suitcase properly, even when he shrunk everything and he'd swear he'd managed to end up with more things to take home than he'd brought with him at the start of the year. This year had been no exception, and his friends had left to go down to the Great Hall on his fifth attempt at stuffing things into his suitcase, promising to save him 'the end slice of bread...if you're lucky!'

Five more attempts later, Seamus had decided that Dean wouldn't notice if he slipped a few of his things into his friend's suitcase. He'd managed to shrink and fold everything so neatly that he'd barely filled half the space. It wasn't like he was going to use his books over the holidays anyway! Lavender had come in and caught him, but she hadn't made a fuss and nagged him like she'd done before. In fact, as soon as she'd seen that Ron had already gone down to the feast, she'd practically sprinted out of there and down to the portrait hole. Dean had a feeling his relationship wasn't going to last much longer. Poor Ron was oblivious to all of this of course, even though Lavender wasn't exactly being subtle! He was in for a shock next year.

Seamus was so wrapped up in his own thoughts about Lavender, Ron, his suitcase and whether they'd have any of that bread with the seeds on it left that he didn't notice the little girl in his path and ploughed straight into her, knocking her over.

"Sorry," he said, scrambling up and offering her his hand. "I wasn't looking where I was going."

The girl ignored his hand and got up on her own, blowing her light blonde hair out of her face as she did so.

As soon as she did this, Seamus recognised her. She was Loony Lovegood, that weird fourth year girl that Harry and his friends had suddenly become close to over the year. He'd always kept his distance; she seemed a bit odd. Right now, for example, she was wearing what seemed to be several different outfits at the same time, as well as two sets of robes and she was looking up at the ceiling, as if he wasn't even there.

"Sorry," he said again. "Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine," she said, not taking her eyes off their spot on the ceiling. "Watch out for those nargles though. You can keep them out of your brain if you walk around with your mouth open. It gives them a way out. And then you won't walk into me and knock me over again."

He couldn't tell whether she meant that in a pointed way or not. Anyone else would have, but there was nothing in her face or voice to suggest it. She seemed as calm and serene as she always did, although he realised, he'd never heard her speak before. She didn't seem like the type to say much and whenever he'd seen her with Harry's lot, she'd been sitting in silence, looking around the room.

"Well," he started, meaning to say that he was leaving , before curiosity stopped him.

"What are you looking at there?" he asked.

"Oh, just my shoes," she shrugged. "I need to get them down to pack them, but I can't work out how."

Seamus looked up, and hanging from one of the rafters were a pair of bright pink and silver trainers. He didn't know how they hadn't caught his eye before; they were so colourful and glittery against the grey stone and dull brown wood. He knew nothing about fashion; that was Dean's area, but he knew they were the most vulgar shoes he'd ever seen. He made a mental note not to tell Lavender about them. She'd buy them and charm them into every different shade of pink imaginable if she knew.

"What are they doing up there?" he asked her.

"Oh, people are always taking my things. I don't mind, but I need them back now for the summer. This is what I've found so far," she said, gesturing to her clothes. "And boys always look at my shoes like that, but I don't know why: they're nice!"

"Why would people take your things?" Seamus asked. Yes, the girl was weird and her shoes were designed for someone much younger than her, but that didn't mean people should steal her stuff. She wasn't hurting anyone.

"I don't know. I think they think it's funny," she shrugged. "Can you think of a way to get them down? I was going to use a cutting charm, but the laces are tied too tightly to the wood for me to be able to cut just them and not have the ceiling fall in on us. I don't think any number of plimpies can help us if that happens!"

Seamus decided not to ask her what a plimpie was, and focussed his attention on how to get her shoes down.

"Do you want me to try?" he asked.

"It's alright," she said. "I want my shoes back in one piece, not burned to a crisp!"

Seamus laughed. She wasn't being harsh on him; it seemed to be just her way. Anyone else would have sounded like they were insulting him, but he wasn't sure if she was capable of saying anything bad about anyone with that soft little voice of hers. Or with that soft little brain of hers, thinking everything's lovely, he added to himself.

"Tell you what," he said. "Cast a cushioning charm on the ground, just in case."

Luna looked at him strangely, but did as she was told. Seamus bounced on it slightly to test it, before finding some dents and holes in the craggy wall and climbing up it.

"It's ok, the plimpies can just about hold you if you fall," she said, ending the cushioning charm.

"I'd prefer if you could keep the floor charmed, just in case," he grunted, as he reached for the laces and started to work at the knot that held them there with one hand. When they came loose, he tossed them down to her and climbed back down the wall.

"There we go," he smiled. "Are you coming to the feast now?"

"I can't, I have far too many things to find," Luna said, skipping away. "Thank you, Seamus," she called over her shoulder.

Seamus nodded and carried on to the Great Hall, still seeing spots in front of his eyes from those awful shoes! And he was too late for soup!

...

The summer flew by, and Seamus soon found himself back on the Hogwarts Express going back for his sixth year. He'd just seen Neville and Dean, who was shaking a carrier bag of perfectly shrunk fifth year textbooks at him and was about to board the train with them when he heard a ripping sound and an annoyed 'oh' from somewhere behind him. He turned round to see Luna calmly summoning her things from where they'd rolled all over the platform, while a man he assumed must be her father repaired a tear in the bottom of her bag. Seamus signalled to his friends that he'd be with them in a minute and went back to help her.

"You ok, Luna?" he asked. "Have you got everything?"

"I think so," she said, putting things back into the bag carefully. "Those razor-toothed dampups must've chewed through by bag. They like to eat the dust that gathers in the bottom," she explained. "Yes, I think I've got everyth- oh no! Can you see my other trainer?"

Seamus looked around and soon caught sight of the disgusting pink glittery thing lying on the ground behind her father.

"Yes, it's just there," he said, going to pick it up. "Come on, I'll carry that bag for you. Where are you going to be sitting?"

Luna hugged her father goodbye and came to walk alongside Dean.

"In the corridor somewhere I think," she said. "Ron and Lavender are together in there and Ginny's trying to get Harry to fall in love with her, so I don't think they want me around."

"What makes you think that?" he asked.

"Lavender told me so," she said. "It'll be ok though. I'll just look out of the window and read The Quibbler. They have a fascinating article this week. It's about-"

"Luna," Seamus said, cutting her off before she could go on about the killer blue sabre-toothed poisonous kitten or something. "You'll get tired standing up the whole time. Come and sit in our compartment. You know Dean and Neville don't you?"

"Yes, they're very nice," Luna smiled. "Although not as nice as you! It would be lovely to come and sit with you. You can read my Quibbler if you get bored!"

Seamus nodded and tried not to laugh. He hoped Dean and Neville wouldn't mind; she could be a bit annoying, although he didn't suppose they would. Dean was only sitting with them because he'd been ousted by the happy couples too (he couldn't stand seeing Ginny throw herself at one of his best friends when he really liked her), and Neville was always nice to everyone. He'd never even said a bad word about Malfoy.

"Hi guys," he said, sliding the door open and sitting down. "Luna's come to sit with us too. Budge up, Dean."

Dean looked at him like he was crazy, but shifted up on the seat and made room for Luna, who immediately got out her copy of The Quibbler and held it right in front of her face.

Seamus stared at her. That was quite rude, when he'd offered to let her sit with him and his friends and yet she wouldn't even talk to them.

"That must be an interesting article, Luna," he said pointedly. Neville frowned at him; he hated people making comments like that in case anyone got upset.

"Not really," she said, lowering the magazine and shrugging. "I just couldn't think of anything to say, so I thought I could read it and then talk about that to you all."

Seamus felt a pang of guilt. She wasn't being rude; she was just shy. That was fair enough. She hardly knew him or Neville and she only knew Dean through being friends with Ginny. He didn't know what Dean saw in Ron's sister. Yes, she was fun and quite a good laugh, but she was selfish too, leaving her friend on her own while she went to flirt with Harry.

"Ok," he smiled. "What's it about?"

...

By the time they got off the train, Luna was chatting away with him and his friends as if there had never been any awkwardness at all. It felt similar to his train journey in first year, when he and Dean had sat in a compartment with Harry and Ron in silence, until Harry had bought them sweets to share and they'd bonded over preferences of Every Flavour Beans. Why hadn't Luna been able to do that in her first year? He'd never thought of her as shy before. Quiet yes, but not shy, although she obviously was. But had no one gone out of their way to talk to her and try and be her friend? She'd only made friends with Ginny at the end of third year. She must've been very lonely before that, unless she hadn't minded.

"And that's why Daddy says you should never go to Romania if you want to come back from your holiday with your original ears," she finished.

Seamus had no idea what she was talking about, but nodded. He'd zoned out ages ago, partly because he was bored, partly because he'd never realised how pretty she was before. She wasn't conventionally attractive, but she wasn't a Pansy Parkinson either. Yes, her long hair was a bit stringy at the bottom and needed a cut, but the way she kept flipping it back over her shoulders was almost hypnotic. And when she'd taken off those strange glasses after demonstrating them to a confused Neville, he realised he'd never noticed how blue her eyes were before. Even the weird clothes and jewellery, which he'd thought had detracted from her appearance before seemed to suit her perfectly, even though they'd look awful on anyone else.

Just when they were about to part ways to take their different forms of transport to school, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Seamus, I need to change my shoes to get over that field," she said, pointing to the carriages on the other side of a very muddy stretch of grass.

"Right," Seamus said, not understanding why she'd tell him that.

"Can I hold onto you while I do it?" she asked. "I don't want to fall over in that mud. I have no idea what could be lurking in there!"

"Of course," he said. "We can't have you getting attacked by anything in there, can we?" he smiled.

"Thanks," she said, and held onto his arm with one hand while she slipped one of her uniform boots off and wriggled her foot into one of those awful pink trainers, before switching arms and doing the same with the other one. She wobbled slightly as she did the second one, and Seamus grabbed her by the shoulders to steady her.

"Whoops," she laughed. "Thank you Seamus. I'll see you in school."

She pulled up her robes and started making her way across the field in a way that could almost be described as skipping. Even when she was quite a distance away he could still see those pink shoes. Like the rest of her clothes though, he realised, they quite suited her.

"Luna's quite nice really, isn't she?" he said, flopping down next to Neville in a carriage. "I never really noticed before because of the...weirdness. Underneath it though, she's really sweet, isn't she?"

"I've always liked her," Neville smiled. "She sometimes comes down to the greenhouses to help Professor Sprout in her spare time like I do. It just takes time to get to know her."

"Yeah," Seamus said. "I'd only really spoken to her once before today."

"Well," Dean said, scowling at Harry and Ron's carriage, "with her best friend throwing herself at Harry, maybe she'll spend time with us this year. I hope so. She seems nice enough."

...

Dean was right. Over the year, Ginny had been followed Harry like he was a carrot dangled in front of her nose. There had been the month when she'd given up on him and decided to give Dean a go, but she was soon back chasing after Harry. Dean moved on quite quickly though, taking a few different girls to Hogsmeade and gaining a reputation as 'Mr Smooth' and he didn't actually seem bothered by Ginny at all. Harry was getting quite annoyed by it though; he liked Ginny, but he'd told her several times that it wasn't safe for them to be in a relationship when a Death Eater attack or even a war could happen any day. By Christmas, he'd taken to sitting with Seamus, Dean and Neville again so he didn't have to sit there awkwardly with her while Ron and Lavender ate each other's faces. Ron and Lavender joined them in the common room most evenings and Parvati would sit and read her magazine on the floor, looking up occasionally to roll her eyes at the way her friend simpered at "Won-Won."

Now the whole group was back together, Seamus enjoyed the evenings. It was nice just to sit around on the sofas in the common room and chat, rather than be in separate groups, watching what was happening with the couples. Luna, who had been sitting with them at meals and in the library started to join them too. No one ever asked how she managed to get into the common room without knowing the password, and she didn't seem to think there was anything unusual about it herself. She'd just stroll in every night after dinner, kick off her trainers (which Seamus had made a running joke out of making fun of) so the glitter twinkled in the firelight and settle herself in. At first, she'd just sat on the arm of Ginny's sofa and talked to her and Harry (which Harry was probably quite thankful for) but as time went on and she got less shy, she would sometimes move to Seamus' sofa if Ginny was looking particularly love struck, as there was no chance of having any kind of conversation with her then.

Luna looked happier and happier every night that she sat with them. Seamus had always thought that she wasn't aware of what was going on around her, but it was clear that as she felt more comfortable with the group and realised they liked her because she became so much more confident. Harry, Ron, Ginny and Neville had always liked her. Dean, despite his friendliness on the train, had been a bit wary of her to begin with, just because he liked order and didn't know what to expect from her. As he came to know her better, he realised he liked her a lot. Parvati and Lavender thought she was a bit weird, but they liked her because she was another girl to have in their group, and they had someone new to practice makeovers on. Parvati was determined to get rid of the pink trainers, much to Lavender's and Seamus' horror. Lavender was especially pleased about their new addition though as it meant she could spend more time curled up with Ron instead of sat on the floor with Parvati's wand in her face shooting powder into her eyes.

As for Seamus, he'd grown to really like Luna. She was always nice to him, unlike the other girls who sometimes snapped at him and he didn't feel like he had to be careful about what he said to her in case she got offended or upset. He could tease her about her shoes, which he did nearly every day and she wouldn't get offended. She'd just say that obviously the blellowflies had made him colourblind. She was actually the one more likely to offend him, with her blunt comments, but he knew her well enough to know she didn't mean anything in a nasty way. She could actually be quite funny, admittedly in a weird way, like when she did a doodle of Professor Snape in Spectre-Specs because she thought his brain had been eaten by the Nargles. Well, it'd made him laugh, seeing as Snape had just given him a T on his essay on wandless magic. She stuck up for him too. Not in any important situations, but when Lavender would say his hair was getting too long or something, she'd tuck it back behind his ears for him and make some clever comment. It would be a lie to say that he didn't see the weirdness anymore; it was pretty hard to miss the radish earrings and everything, but it didn't actually seem that weird to him anymore. It just seemed like her.

His friends kept nudging him and giving him knowing looks when she was around, even Harry. Seamus always ignored them though. He didn't fancy Luna or anything. He hadn't even thought about it since he'd thought she was pretty that time on the train, and he always thought about girls in terms of their looks when he first spoke to them; it was just a boy thing. Just because his friends didn't have any close female friends apart from their girlfriends! He did not fancy Luna Lovegood, although she was fast becoming one of his best friends.

...

Everything felt wrong going back on the train for seventh year. Seamus felt like he was seeing everything in black and white: people's pale, worried faces and their black robes swishing around them as they hurried to get into a safe place. Even the scarlet Hogwarts Express seemed less bright and cheerful as it had before. It was definitely shorter: so many people weren't coming back. Harry, Ron and Dean had gone to try and break all the horcruxes. They'd assured him they'd be fine, but he obviously didn't believe that. They were so stupid. Brave, but bloody stupid. He'd wanted to go with them and help, but he knew a fourth person would have only slowed them down, and Dean couldn't go back to school as a muggleborn. So many others were missing too. It wasn't hard to find a compartment for once, and he, Neville, Luna and a sulky Ginny sat in silence for the whole journey. He thought he'd have so much to say to his friends; his mam had told him not to write to anyone, as they had no way of knowing who could be reading everyone's letters, so he hadn't had any contact with them for months.

Everyone just seemed too sad to talk. He did too, although he'd felt a little better once he'd seen Luna. There'd been some kind of feeling in his chest all summer, hoping that she was ok, and that she'd be allowed to go back to school. He'd look after her. The sort of strained feeling in his chest went away as soon as he saw her and he felt a huge rush of relief. Those pink trainers seemed to be the only thing that stayed in colour in his black and white world, as she stuck her legs out and rested her feet on the opposite chair, although he couldn't make himself smile at the sight of them. Luna put her head on his shoulder and he smiled into her hair. He supposed actually he did quite fancy her, but this wasn't the time to think about that. There were so many more important things to worry about. They had to stick together. School was going to be horrible this year.

...

As soon as the students were away from the castle and out of sight of Snape, they started to push and shove to get on the train and get home for Christmas. Seamus stayed close to his friends, checking they were all ok every few seconds. He'd never thought he'd be scared for his or anyone else's lives around Hogwarts, but here he was, terrified. School had been just as bad as he thought, with Snape and the Carrows and their punishments. He, Neville, Luna and Ginny had started up the D.A. again, and had already endured the cruciatus for getting caught sneaking to the Room of Requirement several times. Luna had been so brave, and had even cleaned him up after he'd been thrown into a wall. He worried about her more than the others now. She couldn't risk going up to their common room without getting caught, and the thought of her pretty much alone and friendless in Ravenclaw made him feel slightly sick. He never saw the pink trainers anymore, although that was the least of his worries. She always wore her uniform boots now. There was no point in setting herself up for an easy punishment. She'd put them on to trek back to the train though, seeing as they were being made to walk the whole way.

He couldn't wait to get home, even if it meant having to leave his friends and not knowing what was happening to them. He'd managed a clumsy charm on the D.A. galleons to send out a message if one of them was in trouble, but he wasn't sure what anyone would be able to do even if the charm worked. He'd just have to hope with all his heart that everyone made it back after Christmas.

He was awoken from his thoughts by a hand grabbing his shoulder.

"Seamus," Ginny said, pulling him back. "I think Luna's gone."

If it had been any other time, Seamus would have assumed that she'd got lost in the crowd. He had a feeling that wasn't the case though.

"Since when?" he asked, feeling his throat constrict, his head spin and his heart start pounding.

"I don't know," Ginny said, her voice sounding choked. It was obvious she was as scared as he was. "She got pushed behind Goyle a while back, but-"

Seamus ran back the way they'd just come, with his friends following him, casting shield charms to stop the Carrows from cursing them for running away. He kept running, back through the grounds, back through the forest, back past Hagrid's-. He stopped suddenly and turned back, dreading what he knew he was going to see. Coming to a stop alongside his friends at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, he saw it and he let out a howl.

A muddy, but still bright, glittery pink trainer.

...

When they got a message in the Easter holidays that Luna was at Shell Cottage, Seamus flooed there straight away. He ran upstairs, but was stopped by a stern-looking Fleur.

"She is asleep. You can see 'er when she wakes up," she said. "Now, downstairs," she ordered.

"Is she ok?" Seamus asked, knowing that it was a stupid question.

"She 'as 'ad to take a lot of potions, but she will be fine," the French woman replied, her face softening. "'Arry says she mentioned you. 'e thought you should know that before you see 'er."

"What does he mean, 'mentioned me?'" he asked.

Fleur didn't reply, merely smiled and gestured to the sofa. Seamus sat on the edge fidgeting, only stopping when Fleur frowned at him. They sat in silence, but he didn't mind. He needed time to think. Luna had mentioned him? Why? Did she hate him for not checking up on her and noticing she'd gone missing sooner? Surely she wouldn't. It had taken him months for him to stop blaming himself for that, by telling himself that she wouldn't think it was his fault, so why should he? All those feelings of guilt started coming back to him, but he shook his head. Luna wasn't like that. Yes, they'd only been friends for a year or so, but he knew her well enough she wasn't the type to lay blame or resent anyone. What if whatever had happened to her had changed her? He knew she'd been at Malfoy Manor, and nothing good could have happened there. Being at the hands of all those Death Eaters would change even the happiest person's demeanour. What if she was different now? What if all the sweetness and innocence that he loved about her were gone, replaced with darkness and resentment?

He shook his head again, trying to get the thoughts out. Surely she just wanted to see her friend. That must have been all it was. She knew him, and she must have thought, if she'd had time between bouts of torture, how worried he was. He'd missed her, even just seeing her at mealtimes and talking about those strange creatures she made up. Yes, all that stuff still annoyed him slightly, but if she was still his friend then he'd happily listen to her go on about nargles and everything all day.

He was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of a small bell ringing. Fleur jumped out of her seat and ran upstairs. Seamus followed her, scolding himself for being melodramatic. There was no need to be so emotional, and he'd only upset her if he acted like that in front of her. He needed to act like everything was normal.

Entering the room, he was taken aback by how small and pale she looked. She'd always been dainty and fair, but it had quite suited her. Now she just looked tired and frail. She had dark circles under her eyes and she didn't look like she'd be capable of raising herself off the huge pile of pillows that were trying and failing to hold her upright. Fleur dabbed some paste on the cutes and bruises that were fading, but still prominent on her face and neck before leaving the two of them alone. She was smiling at him. That was a good sign.

"Hi, Luna," he said, making every effort to seem like everything was fine and that the sight of one of his best friends lying in bed looking half-dead wasn't bothering him. "I came as soon as I heard you were back. We were just having tea at the Burrow. I don't think Molly's going to be too happy, but never mind. She's taken me and Neville on as sort of replacement sons I think! She's feeding us up, anyway so between that and the easter eggs me dad bought me, I'm getting quite chubby! Can you tell? I was hoping to see Harry and that lot, but apparently they've already left. I hope they remembered to say goodbye to you!"

He stopped. Rambling wasn't normal, or a sign that everything was fine.

"Yes, they did," Luna whispered hoarsely. Seamus could barely hear her. "They brought me my breakfast this morning before they le-"

She stopped talking and started coughing violently. Seamus leapt up and conjured her a glass of water. She drank it, still coughing every few sips.

"Thank you," she croaked when she'd finished.

Seamus couldn't take it. All the guilt he'd been trying to banish came rushing back to him and he started crying. He hated seeing Luna, normally so happy and free, struggling to sit up and even speak. If only he'd watched her more closely, none of this would have happened. She could've been in the Burrow eating Molly's cottage pie with them, but instead she was recovering from torture that he could never imagine. He was meant to be her friend, but he felt like he'd failed her. He was never going to let her even come close to that kind of danger again.

"Are-are you alright?" Luna asked.

"No," he said, wiping his eyes. "I should never have let you get into that situation. I should've been watching you. But don't worry, I'm never going to let you out of my sight again. I'm going to look after you in future, Luna, I promise."

"You couldn't have done anything," she told him. "Dolohov was strong and he had help from Malfoy and his friends. What would you have done? Set him on fire?"

Seamus grinned as he remembered the first time they'd properly met and she'd made the same joke.

"Ok," he said. "But I could have tried to help, and I will in future. Listen, Luna, I love you and no harm is ever going to come to you again."

Luna opened her mouth to reply, but no words came out and Seamus had a feeling that this time it was nothing to do with her throat. Had he just told her that he loved her? Well, actually, he supposed he did!

"Sorry for blurting that out, but I really do. I only just realised, but I care about you so much and I was so worried. Now I know you're ok and my chest doesn't want to explode anymore, I never want to leave you ever again!"

"Well," Luna said, just about finding her voice. "I love you too. Will you help me go to the toilet now please?"

Seamus laughed. He wasn't sure whether it was from happiness that she'd said she loved him too, from the matter-of-fact way she'd said it or that she'd followed it by asking for help using the loo, but it was a good feeling to laugh again.

"Ok," he grinned. "Let me just find you some shoes. The bathroom floor's cold."

Searching the room, all he could find was one battered pink trainer. He carefully duplicated it for her other foot with a flick of his wand and put them gently on her feet.

"You made me another trainer," Luna said as she leaned on him. "I _knew _you liked them really."


End file.
